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Online: Yesterday
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Soraya
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My submissive desires... w4m Are really starting to get out of control.
I feel like I'm at my limit, my breaking point, and all I can think about is being led in the bedroom, controlled with strong hands that know what they want and how to take it from me, that seek to possess such large amounts of small parts of me that I have no choice but to submit and enjoy the feeling of being overcome.
My problem is I'm attached and although not married, monogamous by nature.
I have tried to bring these desires to light. However it's not working too well.
Suggestions are so artificial.To ask for it isn't so satisfying though it helps take the edge off.
Hair pulling, spanking, he will oblige but its done for my sake.
He takes no real deep pleasure in it so I'm still left wanting.
Sometimes I try to fight a little, resisting him , in an effort that maybe my petulance would cause him to give me a small smile and whisper as he touches me,"You're misbehaving. Perhaps I'll show you your place. You need to learn who you belong to."
My heart is racing writing this, lol.
It's frustrating. I want strong hands, rough dominance, and satisfaction inside and out knowing that because I was good and so eager to please, I am rewarded by being fully pleased myself.
I try reading stories about it. Manga is my vice because the imagery of the dominance speaks to me, but it makes it worse at the same time. It's like an addictive drug that can never get you high enough so your stuck floating in-between ecstasy and reality.
I too want to be restrained and used as someone delights in my flushed face and tense body. As they assert themselves over me and I know without a doubt that my mind and body is owned.
I wrote this to vent because these thoughts are strong and saying it aloud, yet anonymously and discreetly, helps a little. I wonder what happens when I do reach my breaking point and these desires overflow through me. I wonder how much time I have left to control it and hold it back.
I wonder, as a Dom, if your desire to assert yourself over an eager participant, gets as strong as my deisire to submit does? How do you keep yourself from the brink? How do you manage?
I want to talk about it even though I know I'm probably sticking my fingers into a flame that I know I shouldn't touch but am too fixated on knowing how it feels to be consumed.
If your a submissive like me and are going through something similar, maybe we can help stregthen each other's resolve.
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Heriberto
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