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Dear K****,
There are some things that I never got to tell you, and really need you to know regarding the "inappropriate" relationship that we shared in early 2008. . .
Firstly, I hope you know that's not who I am and it was very much against my character to get involved with you the way I did. It definitely wasn't something I planned. You were just so wonderful and amazing! I fell head over heels in love with guys fucking girls in saran wrap you, and for a while I was convinced that you were going to end up being my future! That is why I allowed myself to have the relationship that I had with you! It was just you! There were never any other women before you, and there haven't been any since because what happened between you and I only happened because I was irresistibly in love with you. . .
Secondly, everything happened so fast and was so complicated because of our "situations". I've never known what parts of our relationship were real, and which parts weren't. At least, I don't know which parts were real to you? I don't know if you ever really had the feelings that you claimed to have for me, or if you ever really wanted the things you claimed to want with me. Whether you did or not at this point is moot, but regardless- I want you to know that my feelings for you were very real! I loved and adored you beyond what I ever thought possible. . .
Thirdly, I NEVER wanted things to end between us! I know that I may have said some things to make you think otherwise, but I only said those things because I thought you were getting ready to drop me. The way you were acting, the things you were saying. It felt an awful lot like you wanted to end things but weren't quite sure how to tell me. Maybe I was wrong? I'll probably never know. But just know, I NEVER wanted to lose you! I was prepared to go through the hell it would've taken to be with you, my heart just told me you weren't prepared to do the same and weren't going to be there waiting for me on the other side...
Fourthly, I miss you so much I can't stand it most days! I carry the secret of you around in my heart every day! Knowing you exist, but not having you in my life is misery!
Your initials are K.J.?- you tell me your last initial so I know it's you, and also tell me something that only you and I would so I know it's not just someone taking a lucky guess at your last initial.
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